“Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts her, and he will not lack anything good. She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life. Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her.” –Proverbs 31:10-12, 28
I don’t know about you, but I want that. I want a husband who will praise me and children who will call me blessed. Or at least, I say I want that, but sometimes I wonder if my actions really tell Goose that. When I took the Bible study course, Called to Be a Keeper, I was very much convicted by Lori Merrill’s words about serving our husbands. In fact, she’d often say, “ask your husband each morning: ‘What can I do for you while you’re at work?’” Why you ask? So, he KNOWS you want to serve him and that you’re trying to be his help-mate, which believe it or not ladies, is how God originally designed it (see Genesis 2:18). We were designed to help HIM not him help US. I know. What a bummer, right?
Anyway, asking this question has now become a habit I instill on most days when Goose goes off to work. That said, I will never forget the first time I popped the question. Thinking I would get a “nothing” answer, I was shocked and slightly horrified when he said, “I’d really like it if you could mow the lawn.”
Mow the lawn?! Are you serious?! You are asking this mom with a running-around (then) one year old to MOW THE LAWN! Mind you I didn’t tell him that, but I was definitely thinking that when he asked the question. And I was definitely thinking that as I pushed the lawn mower across the yard. And I was definitely thinking that and moping about that as I put Theragesic on my aching back from pushing the lawn mower (we have a reel lawn mower–yes, the manual, old school, no motor, no gas, no electric, real man power kind). And I was definitely thinking about that as I laid down my pillow that night and he never even said a word about it. Argh! So much for serving, right? I mean with treatment like that what’s the point?!
But I had it all wrong. Did you know notice in the above paragraph whose attitude was the real problem? Was it Goose’s? No, not really. It was mine. Goose rarely asks me to do something for him. In fact, you know the motto–men rarely ask for directions or help at all. It was much later I realized, he asked because he knew he would have to choose between either spending time with his family or mowing the lawn before it got dark outside. He asked during a season of heavy rain and long nights. If I hadn’t mowed the lawn he would have probably had to do so in the dark and not spend time with his daughter before she went to bed. By mowing, I was able to serve him which in turn gave me what I really wanted–family time. Yet I missed the whole thing because of my selfish attitude and rude homecoming.
Which brings us back to Proverbs 31 and finding ways in which we can reward our husbands with good and not evil. How do you think you might feel after a long day at work “bringing home the dough” for your family? How would you like to be greeted and/or served when you walk in the door? You’ve heard the phrase “if momma ain’t happy, then nobody’s happy.” Let’s paraphrase that a bit, “if momma’s attitude is sour when daddy walks in the door, it ruins everybody’s evening.”
So let’s look at a few little things you may want to try to prepare for your hubby’s homecoming. Not everything will be possible. Not everything will even matter to your hubby, but some may make a world of difference. You may even want to ask him what is important to him so you can try to accomplish those tasks first. That said, here’s a start:
|Photo by sarahlynn337
1. Do a quick pickup around the house. Employ the kids to help. I’ve others call the 15 minutes before their husband comes home the “Hour of Power” or the “5 in 15″. What this basically means is when they call out those phrases the whole family springs into action for 15 minutes to complete their 5 individually assigned tasks/choirs. The result–a pretty fast makeover and much cleaner house before dad gets home which makes everyone happier.
2. Try to make sure the kids are clean. My hubby loves his welcome home hugs from Peanut but if she is dirty or sticky or messy, you can forget it until after she gets cleaned up because he doesn’t want to stain his good work clothes. He misses his hug and Peanut feels hurt because she didn’t get to hug her daddy right away. It makes no one happy.
|Photo by Samantha Bartley
3. Try to make yourself presentable. This is probably one of my greatest challenge areas, especially when I’ve been using the time right before Goose comes home to either cook or clean house or rally up the kids. It often leaves me feeling and looking ragged. Maybe I need to add this to my list of New Year’s goals, eh? After all, Goose goes to work every day and sees some pretty attractive women. Why would he want to come home to…well…yeah. I’m convicted. Thank goodness he loves me true.
4. Have the house smell good. If not food in the oven for supper then maybe a good smelling candle. No, he probably won’t comment about it, but it’s amazing how a smell can change an attitude. Imagine the smell of a warm apple pie. How does it make you feel? Now imagine the smell of sweaty smelly socks or baby spit-up? Feel the difference?
|Photo by DarksWife2007
5. Have dinner ready. I realize this is not entirely possible for everyone, especially if you both cook, but it’s possible to have something almost ready. If this is the case, think crock pot meals you put in the slow cooker before leaving for work or freezer meals you prepare on the weekend that you only have to warm up. Yum.
6. Have both you and your children meet him at the door. As I mentioned earlier Goose loves it when Peanut meets him at the door. It cheers him up on a bad day or makes him laugh on a good day. It just goes to show your hubby, “Listen love, we’ve missed you. We are so glad you are home.”
|Photo by MrHenryVanity
7. Tell him you love your life. Why does he work so hard? Why does he buy things for you? Why does he do what he does? Because he, your knight in shining armor, wants to capture the world for you. It’s his way of loving you. So tell him thank you.
This post today is as much a sermon to myself as anyone else. Yet, I hope you find it an encouragement and hope to hear of more ways you “reward your husband with good and not evil all the days of your life.”